May 2013
7 posts
To Love You
I look beyond the empty cross, forgetting what my life has cost. So wipe away the crimson stains, and dull the nails that still remain. So steal my heart and take the pain, take the selfish, take the weak, and all the things I cannot hide. Take the beauty, take my tears, take my world apart. I pray, take my world apart.
Jars of Clay - “Worlds Apart”
This was my favorite song back...
No One Higher
This past Sunday I entered the sanctuary in a state of restlessness. All semester, I had been running from the crippling grips of fear, doubt, and hopelessness. When the going became tough, I hid under the wings of false sense of security and pride. Instead of finding rest, I was swept up into a dark whirlwind that relentlessly beat me against the sharp ridges of failures and set backs. The...
Raw
Just because you’ve been hurt by people doesn’t mean that you can stop yourself from loving and feeling. People often times have misinterpreted the meaning of “guarding your heart” (Proverbs 4:23) as protecting yourself from getting hurt. But that’s not true, that verse is not what it seems to mean. By “heart” they do not literally mean your heart, but...
April 2013
13 posts
I’ve been updating my workout playlist the past hour or so even though I should be sleeping. The combination of all the stress, lack of sleep, unhealthy food, and lack of exercise is taking a toll on my body and lifestyle. I’ve been feeling so tired and sluggish these days and my body’s been feeling a lot heavier. Some friends and I made a workout plan and today’s day 1....
Find peace in your storm
unkaglen:
Life is a hurricane. It swirls, and blows, and chaos ensues. Some people try to keep it all in order, others try to pretend it’s not happening, others just try to hang on and ride it out.
The goal for us as Christians, is to find the eye of that storm, where it’s still, where we can look straight up and see cool blue sky. It may rage all around us, but there is peace in the eye of the...
Time of Rest
After my exam this afternoon, I tried to sit down and study and get some more work done. I was able to be productive for a few hours before the exhaustion kicked in, and I succumbed. Initially I was going to call it a night early and just sleep. But even the thought of sinking into the bed and drifting off into unconsciousness didn’t satisfy me. I was searching for more than just physical...
4 tags
Shattered Dreams
“Our capacity to deal creatively with shattered dreams is ultimately determined by our faith in God. Genuine faith imbues us with the conviction that beyond time is a divine Spirit and beyond life is Life. However dismal and catastrophic may be the present circumstance, we know we are not alone, for God dwells with us in life’s most confining and oppressive cells. And even if we die there...
4 tags
March 2013
7 posts
Ah, the heartache….
When I’m home, I always eat at least double what I usually eat at school. Everything just tastes so much better at home. It is delightfully frustrating, if you know what I mean.
Spring break came at a good time, I think. I really need this time right now to pray and seek and listen. Recharge and study as well, but mostly to just wrap myself in His presence.
Also, I’m alone at Rutgers and it feels so weird. I didn’t go home today mostly because I didn’t feel like packing. Plus it was snowing. It’s nice to have the place to myself, and since a lot...
Hope Which was Lost, Now Stands Renewed
This is just a random thought that kind of surfaced in my mind. I’ve been thinking a lot about med school applications and where I want to apply and things like that, and I guess I ended up thinking back to the days of college applications. I remember visiting campuses, falling in love with a particular one, and establishing it as my dream school. When I was applying, I really thought I...
I think I’m becoming more of a sap as I get older. I’m listening to Norah Jones’ first album Come Away With Me as I study and I want to cry because the entire record is just brilliant. It’s an album I’ve always loved, but this is the first time I’m feeling super emotional about it.
This is irrelevant, but I feel like I have a lot to say, but I won’t say...
February 2013
20 posts
This week has been filled with reminders of all the blessings in my life. My prayer lately has been, “God, I just want You on my mind all day.”
Filled and grateful.
6 tags
3 tags
“There is only one explanation for God’s sacrifice for us. It is not us. It...”
– John Piper, Fifty Reasons Why Christ Came to Die
Stretched Thin
I’ve been feeling under the weather (again) and just not well in general, so I thought it was a good enough reason to treat myself. I decided that 4am was a good time to look for dainty rings and surprisingly was able to find a few.
Towards the end of last week I almost had a meltdown over everything that’s been happening. Last Thursday was the day when everything kind of piled on...
Onward
It was as if He was on the edge of His seat, waiting and watching. It took a long time, but I’m thankful.
4 tags
There comes a point when certain treasured memories become almost like a blend of all kinds of different colors with no definite shape or form. They sort of flow into each other and one cannot be distinguished from another. I thought that I would be completely relieved and happy to be at a point like this, but in retrospect, I am deeply saddened by the fact that I just simply cannot seem to...
고기....
still lingering on my mind…
For the first time I’m craving meat. Like, samgyupsal and kalbi and bulgogi kind of meat. I have never been a meat lover, nor have I ever had cravings for it. Sure I would reach for it if it was on the table, but I never went searching for it.
Wish my brother was here. I know he would take me out for some gogi in a heart beat.
And I just managed to turn something like meat into an object...
““Thirty-nine lashes left little flesh intact. He heaves with His breath up and...”
– (John Piper)
Most of my evening was spent rolling around in my bed sulking.
The difference between family and friends is that family will recognize that you’re hurting, acknowledge it, and try their best to comfort you. Family will tell you that blood is thicker than water and that they will stand on your side even if you were wrong. They will be patient and grieve with you until you’ve regained...
5 tags
January 2013
15 posts
Whatever You Do, Don't Quit!
leeyounger:
Some of you out there are really giving it your all when it comes to your walk with the Lord. You love Him, you take your heart to Him, you’re serious about serving Him and you want to be changed every day into something new. Dang. It’s so cool to see that enthusiasm and passion for the Lord blooming all over the world. For some of you, your walk with Jesus is the best, sweetest and...
Anonymous asked: Heidi, I would ask you this in person but I don't think you really know me well and you might find it creepy/awkward O_O Anyways, I'm goign to a birthday party this weekend, but I'm not super close with the birthday girl. I don't want to get her a gift card because it could seem too impersonal, but I don't know what else to get. What are some gifts that are safe?
Anonymous asked: Judging by how vague some of your posts are, I want to encourage you to open up more to people. You'd be surprised by how much people are willing to listen.
