I look beyond the empty cross, forgetting what my life has cost. So wipe away the crimson stains, and dull the nails that still remain. So steal my heart and take the pain, take the selfish, take the weak, and all the things I cannot hide. Take the beauty, take my tears, take my world apart. I pray, take my world apart.
Jars of Clay - “Worlds Apart”
This was my favorite song back in middle school and early high school. The climax of this song is awesome; it’s so passionate and the lyrics read like a raw, honest prayer from someone who is really desperate to go deeper with Jesus. So I wrote it out in paragraph form and tried to read it like a prayer. I am sitting here, in awe and reminiscing and thinking while listening to this song against the sound of the rain.
just thinking
pocahontas
This past Sunday I entered the sanctuary in a state of restlessness. All semester, I had been running from the crippling grips of fear, doubt, and hopelessness. When the going became tough, I hid under the wings of false sense of security and pride. Instead of finding rest, I was swept up into a dark whirlwind that relentlessly beat me against the sharp ridges of failures and set backs. The thought of an Almighty God crossed my mind during many fleeting moments, but it was always quickly chased away by a grim lie, “It’s too good to be true.”
Exhausted and frantic, I stood in the pews, expecting nothing. As the praise team began to play, I thought of one word in my mind, “Please.” I don’t really know why I thought it. I don’t really know who I was pleading to or what I was exactly pleading for. At that point, perhaps it was for something, anything really.
But there I was, moments later, completely consumed by His overwhelming presence. As we were singing “No One Higher,” I understood—God is the limit. He is the beginning and end of all things. Everything is within His reach, nothing is bigger. At the thought of this, I began to tear up because of my foolishness. The uncertainties of every aspect of my life had been gradually taking a hold of my mind and fear had taken root.
Then during sermon, Pastor Richard talked about calmness that comes from having hope in the Lord. Quietness that comes from knowing that He is with me. Everything about this past Sunday service seemed to come from the very breath of God that had started everything in the first place. It was a glorious day of restoration of hope and renewal of the passions and desires that He had placed in me several years ago. The lights had flickered on, after a long time of walking in the dark with just His hand holding mine for guidance.